Romance!

Romance is a funny word. Just saying that word makes, "manly men" cringe. They think of all the cheesy romantic movies they've seen and they think that it isn't for them. Well I agree and disagree with that statement.

Yes romance isn't for them, it is for their wife. Most women love being romantic and I think it is important in a marriage to at least have a little bit of romance. I'm not saying you have to cover the bed in rose pedals or anything. I'm just saying maybe from time to time you just bring her some flowers or suprise her with her favorite candy. Your wife would love that stuff.

My advice to guys is to embrace a little bit of romance because I guarantee your wife would love it.

When storms come!!

I figured this title was appropriate after last night. Those tornados were nuts... But anyways I'm not talking about mother nature when I say storms I'm talking about problems in your marriage.

People's problems range from many things like money problems, trust problems, to even space problems. Every marriage will run into a snag here or there or even major snags. The question is what to do you do when the snag comes? Do you take the easy way out? Or do you fight for your marriage?

When God made marriage he intended it to last forever! So what's up with society saying it's okay to divorce after fighting a little or because your not happy? Happiness is a choice and if you rely on someone else for your happiness you got it all wrong.

Love is not just a feeling either, it's verb sometimes. You don't stay in that honey moon phase of love forever you move on and somedays it's hard. But at the end of the day it's your choice and you chose to married that person. I think when people get married now days they don't think about their entire lives with that person. They think even going into marriage if I'm unhappy I could always get a divorce and that is the wrong way to think. When you marry someone and say those vows you should know it's you and your spouse through thick and thin forever.

Sorry that's been on my mind lately with many families I know ending in divorce including my own parents.

My advice is work through your problems as a couple and do not give up. Fight together!!

Jealousy in Marriage...

My dad cheated on my mom with multiple women and destroyed my family. When people cheat you don't just hurt your wife/husband, you hurt your kids, and you lose family friends. Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a human-being.

So, since my dad cheated and I looked up to him so much, I thought everyone was a cheater. I became very jealous and I didn't trust anyone. It ruined all my past relationships and none of them had a chance because I didn't trust them

Finally one day I met this girl named Jordan and we started dating. I was jealous at first and I didn't trust her at all, but then I saw my relationship going down the drain again. I had two options to decide to let someone in and trust them or ruin everything just like all my last relationships.

I decided to trust and it was the best decision I've ever made. I ended up marrying her and we have an amazing marriage built on trust. That doesn't mean we don't feel jealous from time to time because we do. But we know that we are with each other through thick and thin forever.

My advice to you is if you don't trust people because you've been hurt is to try to trust. If people are going to cheat you can't stop them and no matter how jealous you get if they are going to cheat they are going to cheat. It doesn't help to worry. When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with try trusting them. Let them in and see what happens. You can't always play it safe because that' not living. You have to take risks for your happiness and for the people you can't live without.

Patience is a virtue..

Growing up my mom always told me that patience is a virtue. I'm not going to lie, naturally I do not have a lot of patience. I have a quick fuse when things get on my nerves and It's really something I have to work on. I've tried many things, but at the end of the day the only thing that has worked is focusing on God always.

A quick fuse is horrible in a marriage because little things turn into big things. My wife can do something so little and I lose my cool. I encourage if you know you have a quick fuse to find someone very patient because two short tempers is going to be horrible. Luckily, my wife is ver patient and works with me.

I also encourage you to find a way to work on your temper. You have to find what works for you, but every fight turning into a big fight is not good. Trust me, I've learned the hard way.

This is a few things you can do for your temper...
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434

Date Night

When you get married you have all these new responsibilities you didn't have before. Your life gets busy and you have to catch up with it. 

I know when I was just dating my wife we would go out a lot and spend tons of time together just us two, but now that we are married quality time is getting much more difficult to have. Married couples warned me about this going into marriage, but I didn't believe them, I thought that this couldn't happen to us. Life got busy for us and we felt like we weren't getting enough alone time together.

In result of not spending enough quality time, we created a date night for us. I know it sounds kind of lame, but it actually is great for your relationship. Even though it is planned out every week, it is that quality time with just us that we need. I suggest it for every married couple. 

If your a college kid and your on a budget and married you don't have to always go out. The purpose of it is to be alone with your spouse. Y'all two could just cook dinner together and rent a movie. You can't get much cheaper than that.

If your married and your struggling to find time together make sure to set up a day every week where it's just you and wife/husband.

Love is selfless..

Being selfless is a very difficult thing to do.. We as humans I believe our born selfish and we need to work on showing selflessness.

The definition of selfless according to dictionary.com is
having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame,position, money, etc.; unselfish.

In marriage being selfless is very important. There will be things that you do not want to d, but your wife or husband does and you should do it just because you love and care about them. In marriage it's not all about you. If you put your spouse's needs above your own you will have a much more successful marriage. When they see you putting their needs before yours, in return they are more likely to put your needs before theirs.

Forgiveness in marriage..

To FORGIVE others is one of the most difficult things to do in life. When someone wrongs us it hurts and it is easy to want to get back at them. Getting back at them won't make you feel better in the long run, but will is FORGIVING them. 

In marriage especially FORGIVENESS is important because let's face it your spouse is going to mess up and hurt you. We are only human and we need to be able to FORGIVE them or your marriage will just crumble. You cannot hold on to things in life because it is unhealthy and you won't gain anything from a grudge. Especially when you live with them and are married to them. 

So many marriages end in divorce because they do not FORGIVE their wife/husband. This is not right and it's because a lack of communication. Communicate how you feel and then work on FORGIVING him/her.


"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry
                                                                                                                         Ephesians 4:26

Another reason to FORGIVE is because we are called to FORGIVE each other, just like GOD FORGAVE us. We aren't perfect and we sin against the maker of the world every single day. He would be perfectly fine not FORGIVING us, but GOD chooses too. HE sent his only son down to Earth to die for us.

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
                                                                                                                       Matthew 6:14-15

If you're holding on to a grudge today I encourage you to FORGIVE whoever wronged you and show them love. That is what we're on Earth to do, to love one another.

Don't sweat the small stuff..

When you're with someone 24/7 it's easy to see all the little things they do to get on your nerves and it's easy to get frustrated. My advice is do not sweat the small stuff because it is in fact small. Instead of focusing on all the little things that make you upset, I encourage you to look at the big picture.

When you find yourself focusing on the little stuff that makes you upset about your wife/husband , instead focus on all the reasons you love her/him. Life will be so much sweeter and your relationship with your spouse will improve greatly!

Marriage and the Church

Being a newly wed isn't always filled with happiness and excitement. As I've discussed before most people say the first year is the hardest. You're learning to not be selfish and to put someone else's needs above your own. In human nature that can be difficult because we were born selfish. I took my sisters toys all the time..(Sorry sis).  It's something you have to work on when you get married because sometimes it does not come naturally.

The first thing I would suggest doing when you get married is finding a church you both feel like is your church home and that you can serve in. Once you join the church you join the young marrieds group because they have been where you were when your struggling. They can give you advice and tips on how to resolve conflict. They can also teach you how to avoid conflict.

The main reason i suggest you to join a church is without God we are nothing. We all need the God that
created us. Marriage is compared to His relationship with the church. If he is in the center of your marriage your not focusing on each other and y'all are focusing on Him. It will help your marriage drastically.

Also, when you join a young marrieds Sunday School Class, you become friends with the group. You have things in common like y'all are recently married and can go through the experiences helping each other. There is nothing wrong with having single friends, but most of the time single friends want to do single things. When you're married obviously you're not single anymore, so it's just a different life style. Having stuff in common with people is amazing and y'all can bond to become closer.

My wife and I hang out with our Sunday School Class all the time and it can be a blast!

Honey Moon..

I did not go on a honey moon right after we got married.. We thought we were being smart by saving money and just going back to work right after OUR BIG DAY! That is the one thing I'd redo.

I think the honey moon is very important because it is a chance for you to get away with your wife/husband and be alone. You're away from distractions and you can get to know each other and ways you haven't before. Yes, they can be expensive, but i think it is well worth the money because growing with your spouse is priceless. You have your whole lives to save money, so don't let that be the deciding factor in you two not getting away. 

Yes going to a different country is cool, but it's not about where your at, it's about who you are with. So, even just a trip to Arkansas or New Mexico are perfect get aways where you and your significant other can be alone.

Before Marriage..

Before you get married you and your significant other should have a series of talks about your future together. People just rush into marriage and don't think about what they are getting themselves into and the expectations they have for their wife/husband.


Eight things to talk about before marriage
1. Religion- Do you expect your spouse to go to church with you? Do they believe in God at all?


2. Kids- How many kids do you want? Do you even want kids?


3. Debt- Us being in college do either have any debt?


4. Live- Where do you want to live? Do you want to stay in Oklahoma or move elsewhere?


5. Money- Who handles the money? Who handles the bills? Also, make sure to discuss money isn't an individuals it should be shared between the two of you.


6. Chores- This sounds silly, but you have to decide who is cleaning what? I read marriage books and this was one they said causes the most fights(Guys don't expect you wife to do all the cleaning/cooking).


7. Space- How much space do you two need? Will you always want to be together? It is healthy to spend lots of time together, but do not forget your friends.


8. Divorce- Make sure going into marriage that the two of you are in it for the long haul and that divorce is not an option. Marriage is a life long commitment and you need to put all of you into it.


Just make sure you talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about these eight topics before you get married. They can be deal breakers. Make sure you two are on the same page before you get married and it will save a lot of fights. The first year of marriage is difficult adjusting to being with someone 24/7 and if you discuss this stuff before hand at least you two will be on the same page going into marriage.

Passion is key...

I'm a very passionate person in everything I do; from my FAITH in JESUS CHRIST to just playing a friendly game of basketball. You figured it would be hard for me to figure out what to blog about, but instead it was so easy. My biggest passion is my wife and doing everything I can to make her as happy as she could possibly be. And leading us to follow God with everything we have. You might think this guy has only been married a month how does he know anything about marriage? You might be right, but I've watched marriages crumble and fail and asked what went wrong?

Now days I think people have lost sight of whats important in a marriage and they give up as soon as times get hard. Marriage is a life commitment and people that cannot commit to life with one person just shouldn't get married. The divorce rate in Oklahoma is astounding and that needs to change. When you get married you and your husband need to decide divorce is not an option(unless someone cheats). There are times when you and your wife won't see eye to eye and you're unhappy. Too many people are getting divorced over not seeing eye to eye on everything. GOD made us individuals, but at the same time marriage is two becoming one.

I hope my passion helps all who read...

I do...

On December 12, 2014 my entire life changed for the better. That is the day I married a girl way way to good for me. For some reason GOD chose to bless me with this wonderful, sweet, beautiful on the inside and beautiful on the outside girl to fall in love with me too.

We have only been married a month, but it hasn't been all smooth sailing.  As with every married couple you have your ups and downs, but we persevered through it. I think marriage is designed to have problems at first because you are going from dating and being around them a few hours a day to being with them every day all day. It does take some adjustment and for people to stop thinking about just themselves and start thinking about their spouse. Love is when you make someone else's happiness more important than your own. I hope to show people how to start adjusting to married life easier and quicker so maybe they don't have to go through the lows that most newly weds do.

I'm also going to be talking a lot about what marriage was designed by God to be. Which includes spiritual roles, not relying on each other, but relying on God and through him everything will take care of itself, and being obedient to God's call on your marriage.

I really hope this blog helps whoever is getting married, whoever is already married, or whoever wants to get married someday...