Jealousy in Marriage...

My dad cheated on my mom with multiple women and destroyed my family. When people cheat you don't just hurt your wife/husband, you hurt your kids, and you lose family friends. Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a human-being.

So, since my dad cheated and I looked up to him so much, I thought everyone was a cheater. I became very jealous and I didn't trust anyone. It ruined all my past relationships and none of them had a chance because I didn't trust them

Finally one day I met this girl named Jordan and we started dating. I was jealous at first and I didn't trust her at all, but then I saw my relationship going down the drain again. I had two options to decide to let someone in and trust them or ruin everything just like all my last relationships.

I decided to trust and it was the best decision I've ever made. I ended up marrying her and we have an amazing marriage built on trust. That doesn't mean we don't feel jealous from time to time because we do. But we know that we are with each other through thick and thin forever.

My advice to you is if you don't trust people because you've been hurt is to try to trust. If people are going to cheat you can't stop them and no matter how jealous you get if they are going to cheat they are going to cheat. It doesn't help to worry. When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with try trusting them. Let them in and see what happens. You can't always play it safe because that' not living. You have to take risks for your happiness and for the people you can't live without.

Patience is a virtue..

Growing up my mom always told me that patience is a virtue. I'm not going to lie, naturally I do not have a lot of patience. I have a quick fuse when things get on my nerves and It's really something I have to work on. I've tried many things, but at the end of the day the only thing that has worked is focusing on God always.

A quick fuse is horrible in a marriage because little things turn into big things. My wife can do something so little and I lose my cool. I encourage if you know you have a quick fuse to find someone very patient because two short tempers is going to be horrible. Luckily, my wife is ver patient and works with me.

I also encourage you to find a way to work on your temper. You have to find what works for you, but every fight turning into a big fight is not good. Trust me, I've learned the hard way.

This is a few things you can do for your temper...
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434

Date Night

When you get married you have all these new responsibilities you didn't have before. Your life gets busy and you have to catch up with it. 

I know when I was just dating my wife we would go out a lot and spend tons of time together just us two, but now that we are married quality time is getting much more difficult to have. Married couples warned me about this going into marriage, but I didn't believe them, I thought that this couldn't happen to us. Life got busy for us and we felt like we weren't getting enough alone time together.

In result of not spending enough quality time, we created a date night for us. I know it sounds kind of lame, but it actually is great for your relationship. Even though it is planned out every week, it is that quality time with just us that we need. I suggest it for every married couple. 

If your a college kid and your on a budget and married you don't have to always go out. The purpose of it is to be alone with your spouse. Y'all two could just cook dinner together and rent a movie. You can't get much cheaper than that.

If your married and your struggling to find time together make sure to set up a day every week where it's just you and wife/husband.

Forgiveness in marriage..

To FORGIVE others is one of the most difficult things to do in life. When someone wrongs us it hurts and it is easy to want to get back at them. Getting back at them won't make you feel better in the long run, but will is FORGIVING them. 

In marriage especially FORGIVENESS is important because let's face it your spouse is going to mess up and hurt you. We are only human and we need to be able to FORGIVE them or your marriage will just crumble. You cannot hold on to things in life because it is unhealthy and you won't gain anything from a grudge. Especially when you live with them and are married to them. 

So many marriages end in divorce because they do not FORGIVE their wife/husband. This is not right and it's because a lack of communication. Communicate how you feel and then work on FORGIVING him/her.


"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry
                                                                                                                         Ephesians 4:26

Another reason to FORGIVE is because we are called to FORGIVE each other, just like GOD FORGAVE us. We aren't perfect and we sin against the maker of the world every single day. He would be perfectly fine not FORGIVING us, but GOD chooses too. HE sent his only son down to Earth to die for us.

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
                                                                                                                       Matthew 6:14-15

If you're holding on to a grudge today I encourage you to FORGIVE whoever wronged you and show them love. That is what we're on Earth to do, to love one another.

Marriage and the Church

Being a newly wed isn't always filled with happiness and excitement. As I've discussed before most people say the first year is the hardest. You're learning to not be selfish and to put someone else's needs above your own. In human nature that can be difficult because we were born selfish. I took my sisters toys all the time..(Sorry sis).  It's something you have to work on when you get married because sometimes it does not come naturally.

The first thing I would suggest doing when you get married is finding a church you both feel like is your church home and that you can serve in. Once you join the church you join the young marrieds group because they have been where you were when your struggling. They can give you advice and tips on how to resolve conflict. They can also teach you how to avoid conflict.

The main reason i suggest you to join a church is without God we are nothing. We all need the God that
created us. Marriage is compared to His relationship with the church. If he is in the center of your marriage your not focusing on each other and y'all are focusing on Him. It will help your marriage drastically.

Also, when you join a young marrieds Sunday School Class, you become friends with the group. You have things in common like y'all are recently married and can go through the experiences helping each other. There is nothing wrong with having single friends, but most of the time single friends want to do single things. When you're married obviously you're not single anymore, so it's just a different life style. Having stuff in common with people is amazing and y'all can bond to become closer.

My wife and I hang out with our Sunday School Class all the time and it can be a blast!

Passion is key...

I'm a very passionate person in everything I do; from my FAITH in JESUS CHRIST to just playing a friendly game of basketball. You figured it would be hard for me to figure out what to blog about, but instead it was so easy. My biggest passion is my wife and doing everything I can to make her as happy as she could possibly be. And leading us to follow God with everything we have. You might think this guy has only been married a month how does he know anything about marriage? You might be right, but I've watched marriages crumble and fail and asked what went wrong?

Now days I think people have lost sight of whats important in a marriage and they give up as soon as times get hard. Marriage is a life commitment and people that cannot commit to life with one person just shouldn't get married. The divorce rate in Oklahoma is astounding and that needs to change. When you get married you and your husband need to decide divorce is not an option(unless someone cheats). There are times when you and your wife won't see eye to eye and you're unhappy. Too many people are getting divorced over not seeing eye to eye on everything. GOD made us individuals, but at the same time marriage is two becoming one.

I hope my passion helps all who read...