Don't sweat the small stuff..

When you're with someone 24/7 it's easy to see all the little things they do to get on your nerves and it's easy to get frustrated. My advice is do not sweat the small stuff because it is in fact small. Instead of focusing on all the little things that make you upset, I encourage you to look at the big picture.

When you find yourself focusing on the little stuff that makes you upset about your wife/husband , instead focus on all the reasons you love her/him. Life will be so much sweeter and your relationship with your spouse will improve greatly!

Marriage and the Church

Being a newly wed isn't always filled with happiness and excitement. As I've discussed before most people say the first year is the hardest. You're learning to not be selfish and to put someone else's needs above your own. In human nature that can be difficult because we were born selfish. I took my sisters toys all the time..(Sorry sis).  It's something you have to work on when you get married because sometimes it does not come naturally.

The first thing I would suggest doing when you get married is finding a church you both feel like is your church home and that you can serve in. Once you join the church you join the young marrieds group because they have been where you were when your struggling. They can give you advice and tips on how to resolve conflict. They can also teach you how to avoid conflict.

The main reason i suggest you to join a church is without God we are nothing. We all need the God that
created us. Marriage is compared to His relationship with the church. If he is in the center of your marriage your not focusing on each other and y'all are focusing on Him. It will help your marriage drastically.

Also, when you join a young marrieds Sunday School Class, you become friends with the group. You have things in common like y'all are recently married and can go through the experiences helping each other. There is nothing wrong with having single friends, but most of the time single friends want to do single things. When you're married obviously you're not single anymore, so it's just a different life style. Having stuff in common with people is amazing and y'all can bond to become closer.

My wife and I hang out with our Sunday School Class all the time and it can be a blast!

Honey Moon..

I did not go on a honey moon right after we got married.. We thought we were being smart by saving money and just going back to work right after OUR BIG DAY! That is the one thing I'd redo.

I think the honey moon is very important because it is a chance for you to get away with your wife/husband and be alone. You're away from distractions and you can get to know each other and ways you haven't before. Yes, they can be expensive, but i think it is well worth the money because growing with your spouse is priceless. You have your whole lives to save money, so don't let that be the deciding factor in you two not getting away. 

Yes going to a different country is cool, but it's not about where your at, it's about who you are with. So, even just a trip to Arkansas or New Mexico are perfect get aways where you and your significant other can be alone.

Before Marriage..

Before you get married you and your significant other should have a series of talks about your future together. People just rush into marriage and don't think about what they are getting themselves into and the expectations they have for their wife/husband.


Eight things to talk about before marriage
1. Religion- Do you expect your spouse to go to church with you? Do they believe in God at all?


2. Kids- How many kids do you want? Do you even want kids?


3. Debt- Us being in college do either have any debt?


4. Live- Where do you want to live? Do you want to stay in Oklahoma or move elsewhere?


5. Money- Who handles the money? Who handles the bills? Also, make sure to discuss money isn't an individuals it should be shared between the two of you.


6. Chores- This sounds silly, but you have to decide who is cleaning what? I read marriage books and this was one they said causes the most fights(Guys don't expect you wife to do all the cleaning/cooking).


7. Space- How much space do you two need? Will you always want to be together? It is healthy to spend lots of time together, but do not forget your friends.


8. Divorce- Make sure going into marriage that the two of you are in it for the long haul and that divorce is not an option. Marriage is a life long commitment and you need to put all of you into it.


Just make sure you talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about these eight topics before you get married. They can be deal breakers. Make sure you two are on the same page before you get married and it will save a lot of fights. The first year of marriage is difficult adjusting to being with someone 24/7 and if you discuss this stuff before hand at least you two will be on the same page going into marriage.